NP4 – It’s Not Me, It’s You

Description: In which Laura, Natalie, and Connor and the rest of the youth group embarks on the Winter Retreat and Laura tells Connor she is not interested in him romantically.

Why do these things always happen to me? It’s like, if you’re that one girl who tries to avoid drama, it follows you. And I don’t mean in a good, reality-show kind of way – in the bad, this-is-one-of-the-worst-weekends-of-my-life sort of way. You see, it just so happened that Connor enjoyed youth group so much that he kept coming – every week. It didn’t take long for his mystery-factor to deplete considerably. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I can’t handle that clingy, ‘Let’s be together every minute of every day’ type of guy. It’s like they take lessons from Edward Cullen on how to be a good boyfriend. And yes, I’ll give you that  Edward’s the absolute perfection when it comes to undead significant others, but for real life, things should be different. So when Connor started texting me every minute after (and before) school, sitting with me on the bus, chatting me on Facebook, and coming weekly to my youth group, I realized that maybe I didn’t like him so much after all.

One Thursday, Nat and I videochatted while I got ready for the aforementioned youth group.
“So how was your day?” asked Nat, obviously joking, since we had spent the day in its relative entirety together.
I laughed, “Well, pretty boring, actually. I spent most of it with this insufferable girl at my school that calls herself Natalie…”
“Huh. I didn’t see her. That sounds pretty lame, though.”
“It sure was – I’m surprised you didn’t notice her. She was pretty hard to miss.” I inspected my skin in the large mirror at my vanity, dabbing concealer here and there, scrutinizing my every pimple and blackhead.

“So, was Connor the same today?” Nat wanted to know. I rolled my eyes pointedly at my webcam and nodded.
“I seriously don’t know what I’m going to do,” I said as I blended blush into my cheeks, “He’s definitely going on the Winter Retreat, and I just know he’ll want to be together every second. I don’t even really enjoy his company. He’s more than a little bit awkward. And he has this thing about personal space – as in, he doesn’t understand how it works.”
Nat chuckled, “You and your personal space.”
“For real, though! It’s a serious problem.”
“Weren’t you the one who told him he should come when he was on the fence about it?”
“Yeah, but that’s because I didn’t want to be the one who got in the way of him having an experience with God, you know? That’s a big deal.” I patted some eye shadow on with my ring finger and looked at Nat, or rather, my computer screen, “I didn’t want the responsibility of keeping him from God.”
She sighed. “Yeah, I guess. But it’s gonna be rough. I mean, it’s tomorrow that we’re leaving.”
I pulled out my mascara, carefully running it through my lashes, and said, “Just as long as you’ll be there, I’m ok.”

~~~~~

“Hi, Laura! Can we sit together on the ride there?” I turned. It was Connor – not a huge surprise.
“Umm…I’m not sure, I think Natalie really wanted me to sit with her,” probably true, “– but you could always get a seat nearby.” He looked slightly like I had told him his childhood pet had just been hit by a car.
“How about on Sunday, when we’re coming back?” He asked, “Can we sit together then?”
I was caught off guard.
“Um, yeah, sure.” What else could I say? ‘Connor, I really don’t like spending time with you. Everything you do annoys me.’ Probably not the nicest thing. As everyone started to arrive and congregate outside of the church, I looked closely for Nat. We would be leaving in a short time, and I really, really wanted to sit with her.

“You know, your hair’s a really interesting color.” Connor again.
“Okay?” I wasn’t sure if this was a compliment, but coming from him, the odds of it being an insult were very slim.
“It’s sort of blond, but then other times it seems more like light brown.”
“Oh. Thanks, I think.” Long silence.
“So, is your friend Natalie going to be here soon?” He asked, probably just to get us out of this dull impasse between awkward comments.
“Yep, she should be.” Silence.

And then she was. “Hey guys!  What’s up? Should we get on the bus? How long till we leave?” How I loved that girl. I had asked her to be extra bubbly (without weirding Connor out too much) so that there wouldn’t need to be an extensive amount of talking that only involved me and Connor.
“Sure, let’s get on. Want to sit in the back?” The others agreed that was best.
“Hey, Laura,” Connor teased, “This sure seems familiar …”
“Hah, that’s right. Us and school buses, huh?” Pause.
“Hey guys, let’s play never have I ever! I love that game!”
‘What would I do without her?’ I thought. And so we passed the two and half hours or so playing those delightful middle school games, until we finally pulled up to the place we would be spending the weekend – a  Christian camp in the middle of Kentucky-nowhere.

The next two hours or so was spent moving into our rooms and getting something to eat in the cafeteria. I had been placed with Nat and two other girls that I knew vaguely from school. One of them especially gave me cause to worry – she had some serious back-stabber vibes. It’s hard to explain; Becca was too effusive, too ready to agree with everyone, and extra attentive to Nat. I’m not usually any more possessive of friends than the next girl, but since Nat was my only real friend at school, I worried. By nine-thirty, everyone headed downstairs to this much-too-small, damp, slightly musty room to hear from our speaker, a pastor from Georgia. He talked to us about having as much passion for the Lord’s way of doing thing as Jesus was. I don’t remember much from that night’s session – the combination of my worries about what this weekend would be like with Connor and whether my rooming situation would work out, and whether I would be able to sleep that night distracted me from really listening.

After the session, we had some time to spend in the common area shared between the guys and girls. When I plopped myself down on one of the couches, Connor followed suit. I considered renaming him ‘Shadow.’ This time Nat wouldn’t be there to buffer the space between us – she had announced to the world that she would need a shower before doing anything else whatsoever.
“The speaker’s really good, don’t you think?” Connor asked. Looking around at the others involved in various things – card games, playing guitar, and puzzles – I had a twinge somewhere deep down that I was being unkind and unfair to Connor. It wasn’t his fault that he liked me so much. But at that point, I didn’t care. I wanted to be selfish – to enjoy myself and not have to worry about offending him. Turning to face him on the couch, I said, “Connor, we need to talk.”
“What?”
“We need to talk about your liking me.” He just smirked. I shook my head, “No, really, I’m serious. I have this thing about not dating in high school.”
“Yeah, you’ve told me this. And I’m okay with it.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.” I sighed, “I think you should know . . .” How to finish?
“You can say it.” He nudged, looking completely puzzled.
“You’ve been a good friend,” I began slowly, “But I think you should know I’m not really interested in you…romantically.”

I hadn’t touched him, but the way he looked at me, you’d think I had hauled off and slapped him right on the face.
“Oh.” He said after awhile. I thought maybe the subject was closed for discussion for the time being – better than I could have expected. But no.
“But, I thought you liked me.” He started, then went on, “Everything that’s happened since I met you has been really good for me. Having you for a friend, going to your youth group – just everything.”
“And we can still be friends, of course, and all that. I just feel like you should know…my feelings.”
“And that’s just the way it is…?” He finished.
“Sort of, yeah. I’m sorry. I just thought you should know.”
“But we can still spend the weekend together, right?” I knew he was going to ask this. I had been waiting for it – but now that he had said it, what could I say?
“Well, I do want you to get to know some people besides me, maybe make some guy friends. Who are you rooming with?”
“Three other guys..one’s name is Seth, I think. Yeah, Seth something.” Of course. Seth. My biggest fan.
“That’s cool. Maybe you could spend some time with them? And then we can talk more about it tomorrow.” He looked even more downcast. “Listen, Connor, I need to go to my room – curfew’s in a few minutes. But just know that I think you’re a great guy and we can still be friends.”
He just nodded as I got up. I had a sickening feeling that everything was not okay.

S8 – Fun With Mad Libs

Excerpt from ‘Interview with a Princess’ or CW10:
‘Look at all these (plural noun)!’ I thought in disbelief. So many of them, all occupied in their work; here a girl (verb ending in ing) the stone tiles, there a cook chopped (type of food) for the midday meal, here a (occupation) carried a (adjective) basket of linens outside to dry, and there a (noun) hurried about carrying messages. The place (adjective) with activity, so I didn’t worry so much about being discovered. What was one more (noun) among the throng? However, I felt almost certain that if I stood around (verb ending in ing) at the activity around me for much longer, someone would probably (verb). Moving as if I had some idea where I meant to go, I (verb, past tense) away down a nearby corridor, and my (plural noun) officially began.

Grammar Terms:
Noun: a person, place, or thing
Verb: An action word
Adjective: A word used to describe a noun

Original Paragraph:
‘Look at all these people!’ I thought in disbelief. So many of them, all occupied in their work; here a girl mopped the stone tiles, there a cook chopped onions for the midday meal, here a laundress carried a huge basket of linens outside to dry, and there a boy hurried about carrying messages. The place bustled with activity, so I didn’t worry so much about being discovered. What was one more person among the throng? However, I felt almost certain that if I stood around gaping at the activity around me for much longer, someone would probably notice. Moving as if I had some idea where I meant to go, I slipped away down a nearby corridor, and my adventures officially began.

 

NP3 – White-Washed Tombs

Description: In which Connor’s disappearance is explained, Laura invites him to youth group, and he meets Natalie. Laura’s thoughts on the Christian church and hypocrisy are also explored.

~~~~~

“Laura – guess what? Connor’s on the bus today!”
‘There goes all the mystery,’ I thought, shaking my head at my sister’s eagerness. It wasn’t like we hadn’t wondered about it, or spent many a bus ride speculating, trying to think of reasons that he would just stop riding the bus for a month. Kate had wanted me to message him on Facebook, but I’m the kind of person who may be bold in theory, but would rather not actually act on it. Plus, we’d barely even spoken in person. What would I have said? ‘Hey, Connor, it’s Laura, that girl from the bus you may not even remember. I was just wondering – where in the world have you gone??’ Nope. I don’t think so. But then, of course, the day he gets back, he doesn’t have to wonder if we cared. Kate has never had a reputation for being overwhelmingly smooth. So I decided quickly on Plan B: feigning anger. As I step onto the bus, he gives me that smile.

“Hey Laura.” I just glare.
“You’re a jerk.” Kate and I find a seat and wait for the other kids – for now, it’s just the three of us.
“I’m sorry!” He says, kneeling on the seat in front of us. I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow.
“Really! My aunt needed me to babysit my cousins every single afternoon this month, so I couldn’t ride the bus.”
Kate taps me on the shoulder, and I tip my head towards her so she can whisper to me.
“I think maybe he should have to do something for us.” She “whispers,” barely quieter than her normal tone. Like I said, she’s not entirely smooth. But I just nod seriously, considering her suggestion.
“Yes, I think that’s a good idea.” Turning to Connor, I say, “It seems that you’ll have to make it up to us somehow before we can every consider forgiving you.” He smiles, obviously amused.
“So, what do I have to do?” I think for a minute.
“Come to my church’s youth group on this Thursday night at 7:30.”
“Alright, then.”
“Good.” I agree stiffly, still maintaining my ‘I’m-legitimately-put-out’ façade. He leans forward, determined to charm me out of it. “Aren’t you going to play some music, Miss Mason?”

So, of course then he wanted my number ‘in case he needed directions’ – to a church with a large sign and a location about five minutes from the place he’s lived since infancy. Over the next few days, texting ensued – a lot of texting. Thankfully, my family is wise enough to have unlimited messaging on our cell phone plan. As we got to know each other even better – in such a short period of time – I got to thinking maybe this Connor had some real potential. Of course, as soon as I got anywhere close to really considering him, the problem of his yet undisclosed relationship with God kept coming up. By his occasional choice of colorful language, I knew that Connor didn’t exactly refrain from using God’s name in vain, and I’ve always taken that very seriously. It wasn’t like he wasn’t a nice person, or even a “good” person, but he certainly wasn’t a Christian. Of course, we can always hope for the best, right? So I did; at least he had agreed to come to my youth group.

Thursday night came quickly. That night I was on the worship team – singing and playing the keyboard – so I had to come a few hours early to practice. Just when I thought maybe Connor wouldn’t show, he sent me a message saying he had just arrived. I grabbed Natalie (who of course had to meet Connor, in order to give me her professional, best-friend opinion) and went out to meet him. And . . .  he shook her hand. Like, you know how when adults do that with teens and it’s weird because you’re like, ‘Did we just make a business deal, or what?’ but he actually did it. And, it wasn’t weird so much as it gave him this classy vibe that didn’t hurt Nat’s impression of him whatsoever. And of course, he liked her as well. Who doesn’t like Nat? She’s tall and really in shape so she has this toned, jock-ette thing with her tan skin and long, naturally highlighted brown hair and gorgeous lashes – she looks like she could do a Nike ad or something.

She’s so friendly, though, that I’ve never felt insecure around her. She puts everyone at ease, and is always smiling. I was so blessed that she befriended me on the first day of school. Nowadays we’re inseparable – except for when she’s busy with sports. Like I said, I don’t do sports. Sports are to me like the Black Plague was to people in London in the 1340’s: bad news. But I’m on a tangent. Once we had made formal introductions – accent on formal – it was time for the main session, which was comprised of the worship team playing a few songs to lead the people in worship, and then hearing a short message from our youth pastor. Thankfully, we weren’t covering anything controversial that night, it was about being genuine. Pastor Ron talked to us about how Jesus hated nothing more than someone who was two-faced – someone who said one thing and did another. Hypocrisy. That’s what it’s called. I personally am not a fan of hypocrites, either. No, that’s sort of an understatement. It’s one of my biggest problems with the Christian church.

Growing up in a Christ-centered environment at home and attending regular church services and activities, naturally you get exposed to a lot of ‘Christians.’ And, naturally, there are going to be those people who ‘talk the talk but don’t walk the walk’ (if you’ll allow me to lapse into Christian-ese for a bit). But the sad thing is, there are so many people who are like that. So many people who profess belief, but when you get to know them, you realize they don’t know the first thing about how to be like Jesus, and maybe they don’t even really want to. And it’s just that – sad. Each member of my family deals with it a little differently. My big sister, Ashley, she just gets mad and bitter about the majority of the people in a church; my parents, they tell us not to worry about the other people, and know that, as the world gets darker and darker, the people who really have the light in them will shine even brighter. Of course, Kate’s still too little to notice, I think.

So when Pastor Ron told us how Jesus dealt with the hypocrites – calling them out, showing them their sins, and warning them that there’s no place in heaven for people like them – it made me wonder. When is it time to love the sinners, and when does the time come to write them off? I’m still trying to figure things out for myself – trying to decide what I believe and why, without the guidance of my parents. I know I want to be on God’s side, and that the Bible is true, but there are so many uncertain areas of life that you just have to learn by experience. At fifteen, I hadn’t had much experience, with anything heavy or difficult. I was happy-go-lucky, confident, and content with the way things were. But how long would that last?

S7 – The Ludlow Experience

Do you need a break? Some time for relaxation, adventure, and just plain fun?


Visit Ludlow, Kentucky, for all your travel needs!

Make sure to stop by the illustrious Kroger Grocery, pictured, where you’ll find all the things that a typical, American grocery store would have.

Next stop by the always exciting, always brown Ohio river – just make sure not to fall in!

And, of course, don’t forget to check out Ludlow High School, and maybe

even stay for a football game, where you’ll share one bleacher with thirty enthusiastic fans.

Getting hungry for some fabulous fine dining? It’s time to visit The Classy Pig,  or, on a sunny day, the Ludlow Bromley Yacht Club – complete with karaoke and never fresh, always-fried sea food! 

Don’t wait – start your Ludlow Experience today!

NP2 – The High School Myth

Description: In which we learn about Laura’s experiences at high school and meet her new friend, Natalie.

Have I mentioned the fact that I’ve always been homeschooled, but for my junior year I enrolled as a brand new student at Ludlow Christian School? At first, it felt like a foreign planet. I’m not sure what I was expecting – perhaps a conglomeration of singing and dancing in the halls, inseparable cliques of perfectly dressed mean girls, and jocks that looked like they had just stepped out an Abercrombie ad – but the reality was very different. Ludlow Christian was small and a little outdated; founded in the seventies, the school had once only encompassed kindergarten to eighth grade, later adding a senior high. The average class had fifteen to twenty students in it, and the ratio of girls to guys stood around two thirds/one third. Needless to say, it wasn’t the school you attended to find a boyfriend. Nevertheless, I had a lot of excitement for my upcoming venture. When you’re home schooled as a child, there’s these first grader curiosities about school that never get explored. For example – what is it like to ride the bus, or eat in the cafeteria, or laugh about inside jokes with your classmates, or have a locker? So when my parents came to me and asked me if I would be interested in going to school for the next two years, it didn’t take too much thinking to tell them I would really like it.

Despite my unanswered questions about the real life of your average high school student, I had always been mostly content with my education. I enjoyed spending time with my family, and when you’re the only one in your grade, there’s no limit to how personalized your learning experience can be. For instance, I don’t think I officially learned to read until I was almost seven – I just wasn’t ready. So my mom didn’t push, letting me discover the joy of literary pursuits on my own time. The other thing I had always loved about being home all day was spending time with my siblings – although ever since eighth grade, my big brother and sister had been away at college, and then a year ago my little sister, Kate, had started going to Ludlow for second grade. All of my sophomore year, it had just been me and my mom at home. Now, I’m a pretty social person, so this presented a problem. High school seemed the natural solution. And so, I went.

I spent many a sleepless night in the weeks preceding my first day of school, wondering if I’d fit in or if I’d be able to keep up with the course work or if my teachers would like me. And here I had always thought I was confident. Not anymore – Laura Mason was just like every other insecure fifteen year old, who wants nothing more than for people to like and accept her. I walked into the tan, one storey, industrial-looking building that Wednesday in September, hoping that this day would end better than it had started – how can it possibly manage to be a good morning when you’re forced to get up before six o’clock? That’s just unhealthy. Finding the front office, I introduced myself to one of the helpful, maternal older women and asked for my schedule. I was almost embarrassed that at that moment, all I could think was how much my life reminded me of Twilight.
Really, Laura, I chided myself, I’m pretty sure there are no Edward Cullens in Ludlow, Kentucky. But still, a girl could hope, right? It wasn’t too complex for me to find my locker, since the school was pretty small and there was only one hallway that encompassed every single locker in the school.
I guess I’ll have to decorate the inside . . . I thought, wondering if people really did that or if it was just another high school myth. Placing my textbooks inside – Chemistry, Math Two, English, Social Studies, and Spanish – I pulled out my schedule and saw ‘Homeroom – Room 210 – 8:10.’ I have a theory that it’s sometimes worse to arrive somewhere too early than too late – I had five long minutes in my homeroom before any students appeared, which gave me a chance to speak a bit with Mrs. Bates, our extremely bored-looking teacher. Yes, I’m Laura. Yes, I’ve found everything pretty well. Yes, I’m excited. Yes, it’s different. Yes, it’s much too early for me to carry on an interesting conversation.

Finally, people started filing in – I’d say about twenty in all – and, to my pleased surprise, a girl pulled out the chair next to me, plopped down and gave me a quick smile that made me wonder if I had just imagined it. It didn’t help that I wasn’t sure when the last time was that I had been forced to lose this much sleep – people actually think at this time of day?
“Hi,” the girl said brightly, “I’m Natalie – people call me Nat. Are you the new student? We heard there was going to be somebody, but nobody knows who she is.”
“Um, yeah – hi, I’m Laura.” I couldn’t think of much else to say, but it turned out that I didn’t really have to. Nat was a morning person.
“Cool! I think you’ll like it here. At least, I hope you will. What classes do you have?”
I handed her my schedule.
“Oh, sweet – we have almost all the same classes. Bible’s first.”
“I’m just grateful I don’t have to Chemistry or Math in the morning – I don’t I could handle that.”
Nat agreed, “Yeah, so true. So, what school are you transferring from?”
I sighed inwardly, wondering how many stereotypical questions I would have to hear after I answered her.
“Um, actually, I’ve been homeschooled since I was a kid.”
“No way. That’s cool – I’ve always kinda wanted to know what that would be like. Because you get to like, wake up late and do school in your pajamas, right?”
There it is. I thought.
“No, actually, my mom would never allow us to wear anything slouchier than jeans, and we got up at a pretty normal time. We just didn’t get homework or snow days.”
“Oh. Okay.” She said, and I realized just because it was earlier than I usually liked to talk to people didn’t mean I shouldn’t try to be nice.
“So what should I expect from Bible?” I asked, because people usually enjoy knowing more than you do about anything, and I really was grateful for someone to talk to.
“Oh, it’s not really hard. We usually have a passage assigned to read and answer questions about, and then we discuss it in class. He’ll probably just talk about what the semester will be like today.”
I nodded. The only classes I expected to be a challenge were Chemistry and Math. I’ve always been an ‘English’ girl – like, you know, Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson and stuff. When it comes to getting one specific, right or wrong answer, I don’t always do marvelously. However, I was determined to do well at this school – I wanted to know without a doubt that I could conquer what the majority of American teenagers can – high school.

I spent the morning meeting the rest of my class mates, sticking mainly with Nat and company, feeling more and more that this whole thing wasn’t as scary as I had imagined. So far I had counted several unattached and very eligible young men – always a plus. Of course Gym had been just as lovely as I had expected; we’d played Frisbee, and of course, I had to hit someone. My terrible, terrible lack of skills with anything related to sports or physical activity never ceases to amaze me. The one thing I noticed the most that first month of school was probably the unspoken code of high school students. Apparently, in normal school, there’s a sort of unacknowledged but strictly followed set of rules that everyone just knows. For example, in most cases, teachers are supposed to be listened to and generally treated well, but most certainly not regarded as actual people, with whom you can carry on a conversation, and, heaven forbid, actually like. It just isn’t done. Unfortunately, in my case, I most definitely fall under the home educated stereotype that you feel rather more comfortable with adults than is regarded normal. I do like adults. I’m sorry. Even teachers. So, at points I got called a ‘suck-up’ because I would ask my teachers their day had been and really listen for the answer. You’re probably thinking I’m a suck-up, at this point, too, huh? I swear I’m not. I just really like people.

That being said, I don’t think even my odd behavior towards the teachers garnered me the same kind of disbelief from my classmates as my other misunderstanding of their unspoken policy. I came to learn something. I wanted to learn; not just to pass, or to get through to the end of the day, but to know something brand new. So, when our Chemistry teacher, Mrs. Hendricks, told us to study and mostly memorize the elements for a quiz coming up, I did so. And then came to class on the day of the quiz very prepared and ready to put the whole thing behind me. But apparently, that’s not how everyone does things – and just because you do, you’re not supposed to assume they have. So, when we had a few minutes extra at the end of class that day and we still hadn’t taken our quiz, Laura-the-obnoxious-overachiever spoke up, “Mrs. Hendricks, weren’t we supposed to have a quiz today?” There was a collective groan. Almost everyone did not spare me their annoyance at my completely unintentional betrayal. After that slip up, I tried to learn when to keep my mouth shut – but I still don’t pretend to understand the complete set of principles. Nevertheless, with every passing day, I began to feel more and more that I could handle high school – that I had friends, and that just maybe this year would be the best one yet.

 

S6 – Quotes on Judgment and Hypocrisy

1. “Forbear to judge, for we are sinners all.”  ~William Shakespeare, Henry VI

2. “How seldom we weigh our neighbors in the same balance as ourselves.”  ~Thomas à Kempis

3. “Most of us are aware of and pretend to detest the barefaced instances of that hypocrisy by which men deceive others, but few of us are upon our guard or see that more fatal hypocrisy by which we deceive and over-reach our own hearts.”
~Laurence Sterne, 1760

4. “The essence of immorality is the tendency to make an exception of myself.”  ~Jane Addams

5. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves.”
~ Carl Gustav Jung

6. “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
~ Mother Teresa

7. “We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions.”
~ Ian Percy

8. “Hypocrisy is like a disease – it will poison your heart and mind until all you can see is what others are doing wrong, not the fact that you may be in much more danger than they of falling off the straight and narrow.”
~ Me

9. “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
~ Jesus, from Luke 6:42

10. “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.”
~ Paul the Apostle, from Romans 2:1

NP1 – Beginnings

Description: In which we meet and get to know Laura Mason, learn the circumstances in which she meets Connor O’Brien, and explore the beginnings of their completely unforseen friendship.

Chapter 1

I’m usually not one to complain. Well, not nearly as much as most people, at least. And I don’t like drama. But, it seems, drama follows me no matter what I do. I am in high school after all. But this time? This time, Connor O’Brien was my one-way ticket to Drama-land. You see, we met in one of those, ‘seriously-those-things-don’t-really-happen’ ways. We took the same bus home at the end of the day. Well, technically, I just took it after my end-of-the-day Chemistry class at this local Christian school, since I’m home schooled. But that’s just mechanics. Connor really seemed like a great guy. He had a ton of personality, liked kids, and honestly, he wasn’t exactly unfortunate in the looks department. My little sister and I spent September through November’s afternoon bus rides listening to my iPod. One of the first things I noticed on our rides on the bus were the seriously inappropriate things said and talked about by this group of sixth grade boys from a local public school that I did not want Kate to be exposed to. So, I made a playlist – comprised of mostly loud pop songs like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber – and brought my portable iPod player and cranked it up. Mostly, the kids enjoyed it well enough – with the exception of that group of boys who hate artists like Taylor Swift on principle – until Connor came along.

One day, as we climbed onto the beat-up, stinky, dark bus, he was just there, surrounded by enamored little second grade girls and boys who thought he pretty much hung the moon because he was a fifteen year-old guy who went to a military academy nearby. I’m not going to lie to you – the uniform . . . it added a lot of charm to his look. What girl doesn’t fall for a guy in uniform, right? And he had this tall, thin, Irish look that really got me. Do guys study the ‘impish grin?’ He had it down to an art form, I swear. At this point, though, I wanted to play it cool. So Kate and I sat down as usual around the middle section of the bus and I got out my playlist – I think the first song that day was ‘Party in the USA’ – and cranked it up. Well, Connor, it turned out, wasn’t a huge Miley fan-boy – big surprise to all, right? But, as my whole family will surely tell you, I’m sort of a fan of flirting. You’re not? I don’t understand you. I was a fifteen year old girl with a normal life, and here was this cute guy I didn’t know. It seemed like a perfect opportunity to hone up my skills in the art of flirtation. So…as you might have guessed, I let him go on, loudly complaining and ‘begging’ Kate and I to turn something else on. Which, of course, I did not listen to; I just smiled at him sweetly and turned the volume up a little bit louder.

Kate’s no fool. As soon as we got off the bus, she gave me this knowing, nine-year-old-sister-look and said,
“You like him, don’t you?” But I just smiled and said,
“Yeah, I mean, he seems like a nice guy, don’t you think?” She shook her head at me.
“You’re so boy crazy!” She was right again. I am boy crazy. It seems natural at my age – I never do anything about it, I just like boys. And for the most part, they like me. No, no, not in that way. I’d only ever had one guy want to date me at that point – Seth. We had been friends for a long time; then, when I felt I had to be honest with him and tell him that even when our parents thought we were old enough to let us date, I probably wouldn’t be interested in him romantically, he hadn’t really taken it well. As much as honesty may be the best policy, it’s definitely not always the easiest. After that had all gone down, Seth and I hadn’t exactly been close. It saddened me – I really did value him as a friend – but I understood. Rejection hurts. Personally, even if my parents had allowed it, I had decided a long while ago that I wasn’t interested in dating in high school. How could I be for it, when the percentage of teen relationships that ended quickly in heartbreak probably came in at about 90? I’m a huge fan of guys, but high school seemed a bad time to have my first love.

Please don’t get me wrong, though – I’m not some heart breaker. I make it a policy never to lead guys on or make promises I have no intention of keeping. My feelings and opinions on dating were always out in the open with Seth – he just chose not to listen to them. But that’s not the story I’m here to talk to you about. I should probably introduce myself – I’m Laura Mason. At the time of our story, I was fifteen and a sophomore in high school doing the majority of my school at home with my mom. Even though she’s a registered nurse, my loving mother made it very clear from the start that she would not touch a high school Chemistry book with a ten foot pole; so the matter was settled – I would attend an advanced Chemistry class at the nearby Ludlow Christian School, where my little sister went for third grade. When my mom asked me to ride the bus home every day after Chemistry to keep Kate company, I had acted like it would be an imposition, but really, being home schooled all your life makes you wonder what a school bus is really like. There’s all these first grader curiosities that you never got to explore – like how I always wanted a Pocahontas lunch box, a brand new back pack every year, and to go shopping for special outfits for going back to school.

Of course, my mom was always really great about it. Most years she would buy us a back pack just to make us feel special, or a set of clothes for the first day of school – there was always something. But that romanticized feeling about the unknown things like the cafeteria and the prom had still stayed in the back of my mind all this time. So when it turned that I’d get to flirt with – I mean befriend – a cute guy . . . well, it seemed like the school bus might not be such a bad thing after all. After a few bus rides featuring artists like Hilary Duff, Justin Bieber, and Hannah Montana, Connor and I had our first real conversation.
Shouting over the combined mayhem of my music and fifty children in elementary school, Connor grinned at me and said, “Hey, Laura!”
“Yeah?”
“Got anything worth listening to on that iPod of yours?”
I feigned a scowl, “Like what?”
“Maybe something chill, like Michael Buble?”
“As a matter of fact . . .” I paused to select one of my many Michael Buble albums, “I’m a big fan.” As we listened to the first few bars of ‘Everything’ by the aforementioned artist, our truce became somewhat solidified. Connor made his way to the middle of the bus and sat across from me in an empty seat so that we could carry on a conversation at a normal level, and I started playing music that we could both agree on. For the rest of the ten minute ride to my house we discussed our favorite artists – which were surprisingly similar – and exchanged last names in order to become Facebook friends.

Sure enough, as soon as I checked my notifications that night, I see – ‘Connor O’Brien wants to be friends’ – now I could get all the dirt on this guy in a matter of minutes. It annoyed me that he only had a few Profile pictures, but what could I do? I clicked on ‘info:’ ‘Born: August 1, 1994. School: St. Charles Military Academy, Class of 2013.’ Again I was disappointed; besides the basics – including the fact that he was male and interested in women – there wasn’t much to be learned. Apparently, I would have to find out by having an actual conversation with him. However, this proved rather easy, since after our ceasefire on the bus, it became a regular occurrence for him to sit with Kate and me and talk to us, or, as Kate would have you know, mainly to me. We learned that, as I had suspected, he was an intelligent, considerate, rather mysterious fellow with a bit of an unknown past. So, you can understand that my curiosity about him only increased when, one sunny Wednesday afternoon, Connor wasn’t on the bus.
“Where do you think he is?” Kate asked me, almost as disappointed as I not to see our new friend.
“I don’t know . . .” I told her, shaking my head and acting like I didn’t really care, “But he’ll turn up eventually, I’m sure.” Except he didn’t. Not the next day, or the day after that, or even next week. Where was Connor? What had happened to him? And why hadn’t he said something to us beforehand? Our questions needed answers like the bus needed Connor.

 

S5 – Tribal Council

“Welcome to the first Tribal Council of Lonely Island. If you all could light your torches from the fire pit? Now, as you know, this is part of the ritual of Tribal Council because fire represents life. As long as you have fire, you are still in this game. When your fire’s gone, so are you.”  Where am I? Last thing I knew I was in my bed asleep, and now I’m somehow on an island with a whole bunch of people that used to be my friends, listening to some guy spew nonsense about flames being part of the circle of life? This is just downright weird. Then I get a flash of recognition. Could I be on the show Survivor? Seriously? This is nuts. Then, all of the sudden, that man starts talking again.

“As you all know, this is the time to decide where your loyalties lie and determine who deserves to be banished from the island.” He nods to my former friend, Ashley, who’s sitting in between Seth and Connor and looking extremely . . . dirty, “Why don’t you go ahead, Ashley?” She gets up and walks away from us, towards a table that displays several items, although I can’t tell what they are from here. She’s gone for what seems like a unbearably long time, but returns eventually, setting off this kind of relay between the other people. As each of them gets up to visit that odd table, I notice that they are all, in some way, my enemies. There’s Ashley, who used to be my best friend, Seth, Connor, Becca, Amy – pretty much everyone who won’t even look at me anymore. And if I know Survivor – which I do, it’s sort of a guilty pleasure – then I know exactly what’s going down tonight. I’m getting voted off the island.

I decide quickly to stand up – to break the strict rituals of Tribal Council – and have my last words before they’re forced on me.
“Guys, listen to me.” I say, trying to get them to look at me instead of consciously averting their eyes, “Whatever I did – I don’t deserve this. Just a few weeks ago, we were all on the same team! Why is it that you wouldn’t even confront me, which is what real friends would do? Ashley,” I turn to her, pleading in my voice, “We’ve been best friends for years and we haven’t spoken in months. Can’t we at least talk this through?” She doesn’t respond, looking pointedly off into the distance at the rolling waves and swaying trees.

“This isn’t fair!” I cry, looking around the circle at these people who are making my life completely and utterly miserable. Finally, I look to our host, who seems to be thriving on this emotion-filled, tension-building, viewer-garnering land mine, “Aren’t you going to say something?”
“Well, Laura,” He smiles condescendingly at me, like I’m some little kid speaking out of turn at school, “You seem to have said it all.” Turning to them, he asks, “Does anyone have anything they’d like to say to Laura?” Silence. “No? Well, it’s your last chance at this point, folks, because it appears that the tribe has decided and the vote was unanimous against her. I’m sorry, Laura, but you’ve been voted off Lonely Island. Good bye.”
“No!” I scream – and I’m back in the dark of my room at home, sweating and wishing that my personal episode of Survivor wasn’t so perfectly fitting to my life. Hi. I’m Laura, and I’ve been voted off the island. I am not The Survivor.

Novel Project Outline

(Temporary) Title: All Have Sinned
Author: Sophie Conley
Genre: Christian Fiction
Audience: Young Adult

Characters

Laura Mason, a bright young girl, 15 years old when our story opens, is friendly and relatively popular with many friends in her church’s youth group. She has an extremely healthy, loving family and enjoys her home school education. She is of medium build, has olive skin, dark features, and is fairly pretty. Laura is our main protagonist, though through the story we will learn that everyone is fallible, even people who do their best to follow Jesus.

Connor O’Brien is a sophomore at a private military academy that Lauren meets by chance when they end up riding the same school bus home every day (though Lauren is home educated, she takes her Chemistry class at a nearby Christian school, and rides the bus home with her little sister, Kate). He has a jealous personality, and like many boys of his age, has a temper and a penchant for girls. With his Irish background, Connor has dark hair and eyes and angular features. Connor is one of our minor antagonists.

Ashley is Laura’s best friend in the beginning of our story, but ends up turning on her. She has a tendency towards being a ‘chameleon,’ or changing her personality and opinions to fit whoever she is with, which does not lend itself towards loyalty. Ashley is shorter with long wavy brown hair and brown eyes – she is rather average looking. During the course of the story Ashley changes from minor character to minor antagonist.

Point of View

The point of view for this story will be in third person, told by a narrator in past tense.

Setting

This story is set in present day, between fall 2010 and early 2011, in Ludlow, Kentucky in America.

Plot Outline
The story begins with Laura as a likeable, intelligent, kind, and godly protagonist, going about her normal life, taking Chemistry in the afternoons at a local Christian school, although she’s home educated, and riding the bus home with her little sister, Kate. One day, Laura meets Connor, and they quickly become friends. Over the next few months, Laura finds out that Connor is interested in her, although she has decided not to date in high school, and that he is catholic by birth, but not by faith. He begins attending her youth group, and is well liked by everyone there. Then the Winter Retreat comes up – Laura likes Connor well enough, but she is not sure she would like to spend an entire weekend in his company, since he would want to spend every minute with her, but she is not interested romantically in him. Nevertheless, she does not want to be responsible if this is what God needs to get through to Connor, so she invites him, and he accepts.

During the retreat, everything goes wrong. Laura tries to ask Connor to give her some space, he is deeply offended, and her friends aren’t there for her in her time of need. Instead, Laura is deeply impacted by the amount of hypocrisy she sees among her friends – crying and lifting their hands up in worship during a worship session, then continuing up to their shared room to gossip and backstab everyone in the youth group. Later, Connor tells Laura that he heard from an old guy friend of hers – who was interested in her but turned down – that she likes to lead them on and then change her mind. Hurt and completely without anyone to turn to, Laura spends the rest of the weekend in her room, alone and uncared for.

In the weeks following the retreat, Laura makes the decision to talk to her friends about the gossiping that was so prevalent in their free time. She prepares something to say, and asks her small group leader if she may have the floor during their time after youth group has met. When she shares, no one really speaks up. No one says they did or did not do what she is confronting them about. But Laura finds that they took her words exactly the way she feared – in anger and resentment. Within a month or so, Laura is completely without a friendly teenage face in her entire church. Even people she barely knew will not even speak to her. Deeply saddened, Laura stops attending youth group and seems a stranger in her own church.

Over the summer, the isolation only worsens, although Laura’s family becomes vital in her happiness and well being – her mother and father are overwhelmingly kind and supportive, and even her little sister tries to console her. But still, Laura is without companionship.

By the fall, Laura has become hardened and, although she is not aware of it, deeply bitter and angry at all those who have made her suffer. In a time of weakness, Laura begins anonymously posting mean and harassing things on the website of her former friend Ashley. Originally, Laura only meant to post one thing, to make Ashley hurt since Laura herself was hurting so deeply every day. But when Ashley retorted to her anonymous antagonist, Laura followed up, until soon it was an angry and hurtful conversation back and forth.

Then one day, after church, Laura felt so convicted of what she had been doing that she showed her parents. Shocked and disappointed, her parents asked her why she had done this – here she had a spotless role in all that had happened, and it was now ruined. She had sunk to her peers’ level. This full realization numbed Laura – she was no better than they. Laura herself was a hypocrite – acting the part of a good Christian, but wanting evil and sadness to befall her enemies, deep in her heart. After a lot of tears and prayer, Laura’s parents decided that what she needed most of all was to pray for her enemies – to pray that good things, blessings, and God’s love, would appear for them. Only prayer could dissolve the many layers of Laura’s bitterness and anger. Through a few weeks of prayer, Laura already felt like an enormous load had been lifted – like she had been carrying all of the weight of her sorrow all on her own, and it had been taken from her. The story ends with the hope of a new year for Laura, a new beginning, and hope.

Chapter Outline:
Chapter 1 – Meet Connor and friendship explored
Chapter 2 – Dilemma of Winter Retreat and struggle with self and God
Chapter 3 – Winter Retreat
Chapter 4 – Confrontation and beginning of fall out with friends
Chapter 5 – Complete isolation and sorrow, no longer invested in church, depression
Chapter 6 – Anonymous internet incident
Chapter 7 – Confession and resulting humbling
Chapter 8 – Prayer begins for enemies (former friends), new beginnings, new outlook – hope

Conflict

Man vs. Man – Lauren vs. her friends who turn on her (Major conflict)
Man vs. Man  – Lauren vs. Seth (Minor conflict)
Man vs. God – Lauren vs. God and his plan of hardship in her life (Major conflict)
Man. vs. Self – Lauren vs. her own flaws and failings (Major conflict)

Theme

The theme is ‘Hypocrisy’

Literary Devices

Characterization
Setting
Conflict

S4 – Late Night Confession

The clock reads ‘12:30 AM’ and she still hasn’t turned her light out to sleep. It’s the book she’s holding – she’s been reading for several hours without stopping. Just a little while ago, she seemed frustrated or upset by something she read, but it in no way deterred her from the tale before her. In fact, after her reaction, she seemed even more enveloped in the book. The girl is about 17 years old, and if her most striking feature at the time wasn’t profound dark circles, one would think her very pretty. Her room is filled with the typical things you’d find in a teenage girl’s room – school books, make up items, various pieces of clothing – except for the poster on the back of her door. It says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Suddenly, she shuts the book and places it on her nightstand. She seems to be thinking – considering something. Then, she starts to speak aloud, but softly, almost as if it were to someone sitting very close by.
“God, I’ve been feeling like everyone in my church has it completely together. Like I’m the only one who doesn’t have friends, like no one even cares or notices me, especially at youth group. Everyone’s so cliquey! But now I feel like I may have judged them too soon. Maybe I’ve stayed so wrapped up in self pity that I didn’t bother to act like someone a person would like to be friends with. Help me to have joy, even when I feel like things are totally hopeless.” As quickly as she began speaking, she stops. A few moments pass by, with the girl just sitting, obviously feeling some deep emotion. Seeming completely inwardly focused, as if she’s not seeing anything physical in the room, the girl pulls up her covers and switches out her light.